Creepy or friendly? I can’t decide…

Creepy or friendly? I can’t decide…

51

I can’t decide whether to file this in the “wow, he’s friendly” category or “wow, he’s creepy” category. I arrived at the Crowne Plaza London Heathrow a couple of hours ago and was upgraded to a room on the club floor. As soon as I got to the club level I spent a few seconds looking at the sign with room numbers to figure out in which direction my room was.

In that brief period, an older gentleman dressed in gym clothes (who looked like he was going to go down the elevator, though stopped) starts a conversation with me. “Hi, where are you from?” Eh, fine I’ll play along. “Germany… and the US.” When I’m outside of the US, “Germany” is my standard answer (for obvious reasons), though it occurred to me he was British, so saying I was just German would only lead to more questions, since he could probably tell by my accent that I’m not just German.

“Oh, so you’re coming from Germany and going to the US?” he asked. “No, I’m coming from Doha and heading to New York,” I responded. “How long are you staying at the hotel for?” I responded that I was just staying a night. Then he asked “what room are you in?” Uhhh….

I changed the subject, and he ended by asking if I had access to the club, offering to guest me in. I said I had access, and he said “well see you there.”

For the record, this wasn’t the guy that wrote me my Wi-Fi code

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  1. Andrew Guest

    @ chasgoose, agree, though steve's comments aren't "a bit" homophobic.

    He wrote:
    "A man has no business hitting on another MAN period. Gross."

    It's no different to writing things like:
    "A black man has no business hitting on a white man period. Gross"

    Totally unacceptable. Steve - GROW UP.

  2. Simon Member

    The one you pass up, is the one you never get ;)

  3. chasgoose Gold

    @Carsonheim: I totally agree. Yes it's no fun getting cruised/hit on by someone that you aren't sexually attracted to, but the tone of some of these comments is a bit homophobic. Would it be quite as creepy if it were a woman hitting on Lucky or if Lucky were a woman? For a lot of commenters on here I think not and that's not right. A lot of the "gross" factor has nothing to do...

    @Carsonheim: I totally agree. Yes it's no fun getting cruised/hit on by someone that you aren't sexually attracted to, but the tone of some of these comments is a bit homophobic. Would it be quite as creepy if it were a woman hitting on Lucky or if Lucky were a woman? For a lot of commenters on here I think not and that's not right. A lot of the "gross" factor has nothing to do with Lucky being hit on and has everything to do with the gender of the person hitting on him. If you ask me, its coming from a pretty ugly place.

  4. PaulH Guest

    I'm sorry that a guest of ours made you feel uncomfortable. Hopefully you enjoyed the rest of your stay.
    Of course, if you had chosen to mention this incident to one of our staff we would have kept an eye on the gentleman in question.

    Paul
    Reservations Manager - Crowne Plaza London Heathrow

  5. IndyDavid New Member

    I think the operative cliché here is the lottery's: You can't win if you don't play. This guy must have a >0% success rate, so why not keep trying. It's like the upgrade flirt -- you might end up hurtling through the night in the galley of a darkened Fokker, but I digress.

  6. Carsonheim Guest

    For sure, this was a cruise. And a creepy one at that. On a separate note I am disturbed by the homophobia in some of these comments. While tge guy's approach was a bit creepy (or, rather, blatant) it's small minded to characterize gay individuals as gross/wrong/etc. Sexual orientation is innate. It would be the equivalent of calling someone gross because they were blonde or Swedish or tall. Those are characteristics that are innate and...

    For sure, this was a cruise. And a creepy one at that. On a separate note I am disturbed by the homophobia in some of these comments. While tge guy's approach was a bit creepy (or, rather, blatant) it's small minded to characterize gay individuals as gross/wrong/etc. Sexual orientation is innate. It would be the equivalent of calling someone gross because they were blonde or Swedish or tall. Those are characteristics that are innate and cannot be changed. And BTW, I am writing this as a straight white middle age female living in the suburbs in Texas.

  7. Mike Guest

    So, Ben, did you get HIS room number? *rolleyes*

  8. Steve Guest

    There's a possibility that he was just thinking that a young man might not have club access or belong on that floor.

    There've been plenty of FT threads about young 1K/Plats being told that "This line is for first class only" by folks that assume youth = coach.

    The fact that he offered to guest you into the club does point to this.

    As a rule, whenever I see a service member traveling alone I...

    There's a possibility that he was just thinking that a young man might not have club access or belong on that floor.

    There've been plenty of FT threads about young 1K/Plats being told that "This line is for first class only" by folks that assume youth = coach.

    The fact that he offered to guest you into the club does point to this.

    As a rule, whenever I see a service member traveling alone I offer to guest them into UA/AA club. I'm 60+ and just trying to say thanks to those who serve. It might have been that attitude, with poor execution.

    Or, you might have just been cruised.

  9. AJ Guest

    @Lucky As someone who was regularly harassed by the businessmen in the pubs along Kingsway as being a "cute twink", let me suggest that you were being sexually solicited. It's appalling, yes, but just pretend not to understand what is being said and move on. (Or give a fake room number, and hope he has a good lawyer.) =]

  10. peteropny Guest

    I vote for creepy!!

  11. LIH Prem Guest

    Was it this guy?

    http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/41574_403513264531_3545028_n.jpg

  12. Mike Guest

    He was looking to get a piece of "Lucky".

    If he was in gym clothes he was probably "built" if not easy on the eyes. We need pics to determine this for a fact.

    However, a nice blond german boy, who stays in club level and flies first class everywhere is certainly very attractive :>

    You should be flattered. It's your "Lucky" day!!!

  13. Carl Guest

    I'm sure he was hoping to get Lucky

  14. henare Guest

    yes. you have been cruised. some older guys like younger guys and vice versa. you never know until you ask. there are plenty of ways to deflect this attention--you've demonstrated this and it sounds like it worked well.

    that said, the style (as described by lucky) of the discussion leaves a lot to be desired. definitely has a creepy old guy vibe to it.

  15. Ryan Guest

    @Moodz: I don't think they were undertones, I think it was pretty blatant homophobia

  16. Moodz Member

    @Steve and @Reader: Do I detect homophobic undertones from you?

    @Ben: You have been cruised! Take it as a compliment as you must be attractive enough for a gay man to actually stop and strike-up a conversation with you.

  17. Ryan Guest

    "Let me re-phrase that for you:
    A man has no business hitting on another MAN period.
    Gross."

    @Lucky-It seems your readership is a little less tolerant than one would think

  18. Eric Guest

    Ben - you need more of these types of posts. This is what is fun to read, the personal interactions and observations. Leave the posting of news to others..borring. I love reading the authentic you. :)

  19. Albert Guest

    How about creepy (even if harmless) with a healthy side of clueless? Doesn't have to be mutually exclusive. He should've gotten the hint after the first little bit.

  20. Chris Guest

    @Steve - Old men need love too.. that's what certain location based social networking sites are for ;-)

  21. rich (arizona) Guest

    I'm always more defensive when people I don't know, especially men, try to strike up a conversation. Partly because of some work I did in the past. I certainly would never give information such as a room number out. He may have been harmless but it is better to be safe than sorry.

    Once I was in Germany (Fussen) and was walking around the lake with a friend when a Chinese man started trying to...

    I'm always more defensive when people I don't know, especially men, try to strike up a conversation. Partly because of some work I did in the past. I certainly would never give information such as a room number out. He may have been harmless but it is better to be safe than sorry.

    Once I was in Germany (Fussen) and was walking around the lake with a friend when a Chinese man started trying to talk to me. I answered a few things but kind of walked away. My friend, who has lived in several European/Asian countries said he was most likely just trying to practice his English. That made sense to me but once you are trained to be cautious it is hard to break old habits.

    I'm sure you must be glad you weren't heading to Japan on this trip. Pretty scary scenes over there.

  22. BostonFlyer Guest

    More reasons to avoid talking to people, creepy. I usually finge being distracted half way into conversation to get the hell out of it.

  23. Steve Guest

    "I still call him clueless… a creepy man in his 50s or 60s has no business hitting on a college age young guy."

    Let me re-phrase that for you:

    A man has no business hitting on another MAN period.

    Gross.

  24. Chris Guest

    @1K - Times like this I am sure that you would use the bend & snap to 'grab' his attention...

  25. Chris Guest

    @Nancy - Is this a common problem for you?
    @MS - Some younger folks prefer older types....

  26. 1K Guest

    @Lucky - you should show him this blog post! ahahahhahahaa

  27. MS Guest

    I still call him clueless... a creepy man in his 50s or 60s has no business hitting on a college age young guy. Judging by lucky's photo, I doubt he has trouble picking up folks his own age. The old man's "game" needs serious work.

  28. Chris Guest

    @MS - interesting. I would have assumed it was his. erm. warm nuts.

  29. Nancy Guest

    A simple "No hablo ingles" usually does the trick!

  30. Lantean Diamond

    Was he your type at all?
    In most cases it would have been safe to give him your room number and have a romp... but if you were unsure, you could have gone to his room, no?

  31. 1K Guest

    @MS he wanted Lucky's coins!!!

  32. Chris Guest

    @1K - I could never meat your level of queendom. I prefer princess ;-)

  33. Chris Guest

    @MS - there was a game being played there... the gentleman was FAR from clueless about what he was doing...

  34. MS Guest

    I would have definitely asked "Why on earth do you want to know my room"? Embarrass this guy. Even if he is a harmless but clueless gay guy, he shouldn't spend his life annoying other folks in such a bizarre manner. Perhaps he'll think twice about playing the "100 questions" game again.

  35. Chris Guest

    @1K - Nuh uh you didn't go there.

  36. 1K Guest

    @Chris - don't make me wag my finger at you!!!

    "Divaing-it-up is not allowed on any Delta flight!"

  37. Chris Guest

    @1K of course you would. Is this FlyerTalkers.net? *rolleyes*

  38. Chris Guest

    @FriendlySkies - is it possible for the truth to be inappropriate? I am sure 1K loves you for defending him.

  39. Reader Guest

    Can we please keep this clean????? Lucky can you delete these comments?

    @FriendlySkies - thank you i agree

  40. FriendlySkies Guest

    @Chris, pretty inappropriate, IMO.

  41. Chris Guest

    @FriendlySkies - Should have given him 1K's room number, I'm sure 1K would have had a LOT of fun ;-)

  42. Chris Guest

    @1K - You know what cruised means.

  43. FriendlySkies Guest

    Whoa.. Sounds pretty creepy :eek: You should have given him a random room number :p

  44. 1K Guest

    @Chris please elaborate what cruised means

  45. Chris Guest

    1K - was that you? He did say "older"

  46. Chris Guest

    Looks like you've been cruised. Must have been the "ASS" jeans at checkin...

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Andrew Guest

@ chasgoose, agree, though steve's comments aren't "a bit" homophobic. He wrote: "A man has no business hitting on another MAN period. Gross." It's no different to writing things like: "A black man has no business hitting on a white man period. Gross" Totally unacceptable. Steve - GROW UP.

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Simon Member

The one you pass up, is the one you never get ;)

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chasgoose Gold

@Carsonheim: I totally agree. Yes it's no fun getting cruised/hit on by someone that you aren't sexually attracted to, but the tone of some of these comments is a bit homophobic. Would it be quite as creepy if it were a woman hitting on Lucky or if Lucky were a woman? For a lot of commenters on here I think not and that's not right. A lot of the "gross" factor has nothing to do with Lucky being hit on and has everything to do with the gender of the person hitting on him. If you ask me, its coming from a pretty ugly place.

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