Note to self: don’t fly with a collared shirt anymore

The TSA’s revised full body pat down procedure has been in place for a couple of weeks now, so I’ve had the pleasure of “experiencing” it a few times. There’s nothing too awful about it, though this morning I felt like I owed the guy patting me down a tip. It took him seven (!!!!) minutes to perform the full body pat down. I timed it. He checked my collar six times, and told me every step of the way what he was doing.

He was an older guy and it seemed as if he had forgotten what parts of my body he patted down, so he did everything twice for good measure. I felt bad for him, because he was out of breath and perspiring by the end of it.

Based on his “narration,” though, it seemed like he’s supposed to inspect my collar six times from all angles as part of the pat down. I have a feeling that’s more his interpretation than policy, but he did check my collar six times. So that’s definitely my last time flying with a collared shirt. I guess the TSA is now waging a war against class. šŸ˜‰

Let’s hope this guy has November 24 off


  1. And wearing shorts and a t-shirt flying through MIA the other day while refusing the scanner, I had my pockets patted down and that was it. Took maybe 10 seconds.

  2. It seemed like my TSA was trying to rip the buttons of my shirt when I had my first enhanced pat down. I guess that’s another reason not to wear a shirt with a collar!

  3. I don’t know about you guys, but as an Exec Plat on American and a weekly flyer, I’ve put up with a lot of TSA scrutiny. You see, I wear a prosthesis so I pretty much am required to go through secondary screening every time. I’ve done this pretty much every time I fly (last I checked over 2.5 million miles) and have been perfectly fine with the procedure. Now with the new, more thorough pat down, I am basically being physically violated every time I fly. They are running their hands up (with fingertips not the back of the hand like before) all the way up my leg and inner thigh to the crotch until they “encounter resistance” in their words. In my words, “until they are touching your junk”


  4. I just close my eyes, tilt my head back and “moan” when they hit resistance. They pretty much finish up once that happens… šŸ™‚

  5. Thought this article in The Atlantic was quite informative on the matter. Asserts that the TSA pat-downs are deliberately over-intrusive to condition travelers to submit to the less humiliating (?) body scan

  6. @my_fare_lady

    One management technique I learned from my mentor (not my business school) was that to assign an onerous project to someone, first give them something they’ll absolutely hate then a few days later reassign them to the one they’ll merely dislike.

    They’ll say thanks!

    The enhanced pat-down is a clear example.

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