Yes, I believe this is the second time this year I’ve given out this award, but this one definitely took the cake. You can read about the last passenger that won this award here. Usually my “tweets” are in good fun, so those of you following along this morning may have seen that I saw a guy in the lounge and had hoped he wouldn’t be me seatmate. At the time I was joking around, but oh boy, was I right. Well, the good news is that he wasn’t my seatmate. As a matter of fact, I was lucky enough to have an empty seat next to me. The bad news is that he was seated right behind me.
Let’s start from the beginning. This gentleman walked into the gate lounge at London City Airport and seemed to run into someone he knew. I could immediately tell he was one of the cheesiest people on earth, especially based on the way he acted. Picture a combination of David Hasslehoff and Simon Cowell in 10 years, and you have this guy. So he chats his “friend” up (in an attempt to be charming), and they discuss all kinds of things, many of which aren’t all that appropriate. Well, we board the flight to Shannon and everything is relatively ok. As it turns out they’re sitting together, but oh well, that’s fine, or so I thought. They chat loudly and drink copious amounts of alcohol (although I wouldn’t call them drunk). Then we get to Shannon and at the departure gate I see them kissing, borderline making out. I give them a real nasty look, like “sir, I doubt your wife would approve,” and she immediately separates herself from him.
Then we reboard, and oh boy, does it get fun. They’re talking very loudly, which I can deal with. The first two hours are ok, but after lunch I decide to take a nap. I put in earplugs which usually does the trick, but in this case it doesn’t help. They guy is laughing so loudly at the movie they’re both watching that the passengers in row one turn around (he’s in row five), and all the passengers around him are rolling their eyes. Passengers that walk by just shake their heads. Furthermore, he’s kicking my seatback or something. Not sure how that’s possible with 72 inch pitch, but he manages to do it. His laughter is uncontrollable for the better part of an hour, so eventually I decide to step in. I get up and say (rather loudly) to him “Sir, you’re not the only one on the plane.” Without taking off his headphones he goes “sorry, sorry.” He continues laughing at the movie, although a bit more moderately.
I’m happy to report that he was well behaved the rest of the way to JFK.
So why does he outdo my previous “passenger of the year story?” Well, it’s clear that he should know better. He was wearing a thousand dollar suit, was rolling along a Tumi, and was flying a product where the cheapest seat is several thousand dollars. The lady flying Ted, on the other hand….