Worst. Emirates flight. Ever.

Good morning from Dubai, where it’s approaching 4AM after two redeyes in a row!

I’ve had an absolutely stupendous week, and was quite looking forward to my Emirates flight tonight from Singapore. As I always say I very rarely drink. At home I never drink, and if I’m flying I may have a glass or two of champagne, but that’s the extent of it.

I took a slightly different approach last night, as I decided it would be fun to drink a bit too much. I figure there aren’t many experiences in life not worth having at least once, and being tipsy on a plane is one of them. I had my flight all figured out. I was going to board, have dinner, watch a movie, shower, and then maybe nap for an hour or two, and at that point hopefully be in Dubai.

The reality was a bit different. I was doing the return portion of this trip with a friend, and apparently he’s a bad influence, because I was talked into doing shots in the lounge. Three shots of tequila with salt and lemon to be exact. I’m a lightweight when it comes to alcohol, so aside from the utter trashiness of licking your fingers and putting salt on them, it sure got my evening off to a giggly start.

Once aboard the fun continued, as the crew was quite liberal with refills, and in the first hour of the flight I had a few more glasses of Dom. I was feeling great. How out of it was I? I forgot to photograph the pre-departure Dom, which I think says a lot.

Then I had water with dinner to get back into a more normal state. After dinner I decided to head to the aft business class bar, where the flight attendants sure were liberal with refills. I had three shots of Patron XO Cafe, and then two shots of Hennessy Paradis. In the meantime the purser made an appearance and asked whether I wanted turndown service. Sure, why not?

So I headed back to my suite figuring I’d lay down for a few minutes, given that there were several hours left in the flight in which I could shower. Next thing I know I hear the “cabin crew, prepare for landing” announcement.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I failed myself and I failed you guys. I’m. So. Sorry.

I feel as guilty as this dog:

And this dog:

…combined!

Then again I learned my lesson. Never drink again on a plane. Ever. Or you may miss a shower.

Tomorrow I’m headed to London and will be sure to spend double as long in the shower spa to make up for my failures today.

I’ll be announcing the winner of the giveaway first thing in the morning.

Comments

  1. Jeez, i am surprised you did not throw up with that much alcohol and the mixture of spirits and champagne. I suggest you drink a lot of water today and on your next segments.

  2. @ David — Whoops, if that was my biggest error in the post I’d say it’s a miracle. Fixed, thanks!

  3. I missed my BA dinner on there 1st class after downed 1/2 bottle of blue label in the cabana. But the scotch was good. Liquid dinner is better

  4. Sounds like best emirates flight ever if you look at it with cup half full perspective. Time flies when were having fun they always say.

  5. By the way, I did 1.5 Bottles of Dom on the HKG-BKK flight, and could have done more if I hadn’t spent time in the shower spa — life is too short not to enjoy it!

  6. Tequila is not your friend. Now, my friend, Maker’s Mark is your friend … or it seemed to be at the Chicago Seminars. Take care!

  7. Effect of alcohol stronger at altitude. You only live once, and as a reader I dont feel let down. If you had a good time is what matters. Like someone else commented, drink lots of water to get hydrated again. Take care!

  8. I got so drunk on a UA flight NRT-BKK once I thought the plane was rolling when I put my seat back to take a nap. I was so embarassed that someone would notice me having to hold on to the seat backs to even walk through the aisle to get to the bathroom. I’d been drinking jack and cokes while watching a movie and the sneaky flight attendants kept topping off my drink…I must have had 6 or 7 without any dinner and I was absolutely trashed.

  9. Are you sure that no one would shower with you, or maybe you just can’t remember who the other person was??? In any case, maybe I better reduce my guess to 14, in case you can’t remember past that…

  10. We’ll forgive you. I’m glad you’ve experienced getting drunk while you’re still young, and it’s not like you had to land the plane after partying. But if you aren’t hungover in the morning, maybe your friend didn’t get you trashed enough. 😉

  11. Me… I always try to drink ’em dry of their champers. Haven’t succeeded yet. Glad you were able to let your hair down and enjoy! Cheers!

  12. We were wondering why no Tweets from you!
    I think I guessed it in my Facebook post to you, except I said Champagne and a nap, not tequila and a nap!
    Sounds like you really had fun, and that’s the most important thing!
    And it sounds like the perfect flight to me, even if you did miss the shower!

  13. Who drinks tequila with lemon?!? Get the lemon with your diet coke, and the lime with the tequila! I don’t know as much about mile/points as you, but I can offer advice about tequila shots. 😉

  14. @jetway: I am a blast to travel with!
    @viguera: LOL
    @Eager Traveler: Cheers!
    @Cindy B: I was Wasted!!!!

  15. Oh no! Last time I did tequila shots was back in college. I still feel ill just thinking about it. As others have said, you only live once. 🙂

  16. Enjoy your flight and don’t worry about anything else!!! Missing the shower is probably the only bad thing!! Otherwise this sounds like a normal fun flight!!

  17. The videos you often add to emphasize your experiences are great! I’m probably more amazed that you know where to come up with these than the actual flights/stays themselves.

  18. I wouldn’t have been able to resist the Hennessy Paradis (which I only drank once) and am not aware of any other airline that serves it, either onboard or in the First Class lounge. Sante!

  19. Love it!!! You gotta tie one on every now and then. I told my husband if he threw up in the FCT I would divorce him (totally kidding, but I would have been embarrassed) after he drank too much on the way over. Anyways, at least you didn’t decide to have a dance party at the same time at the airplane bar. Or did you…. 🙂

  20. Coins,

    I was taught to lick my wrists and pour the tequila on that…

    And I remember the times that I used to work midnights in LA and I was a Platinum on NW:

    1) If I took an early flight (usually around 8am), I’d get funny looks from other passengers in the lounge for hitting the bar at 8am, and:

    2) If I were on a redeye, I wouldn’t sleep (’cause I worked midnights) I’d keep the F flight attendant working because I would drink all night 🙂 I’b be the only one in F awake at night.

  21. It’s a little hard to feel sorry for someone whose biggest problem is he got too drunk in the first class lounge and in first class and ended up missing the chance to shower in first class. We should all have those problems 😉

    #theeptiomeoffirstworldproblems

  22. It’s like reading about a 14 year old who discovered his parents liquor cabinet and decided to experiment.
    You act like you’re the first person to ever drink to much on a flight.

  23. Hilarious, you young fellow. It happens to even the most careful, but no worries. as you well know, the medical and physiology experts say that alcohol in the high altitude/dry environment is a bad thing. In my humble experience, flying since the late 50s and drinking since the late 60s I find that ONE cocktail early in a flight is pleasant. It is is a very long flight, perhaps a little wine with a good meal. Beyond that I just don’t go, simply because the price paid in after effects is far higher than I’m willing to pay. You’ve learned an important lesson, one valuable for a very frequent flyer. There is great merit in Diet Coke (lime or lemon as available). My personal favorite is whatever plain fizzy water is available, and as cold as possible. I pour it in to combat the dehydration and yes, attention to the fresh glass is appreciated. Enjoy your pre-departure or pre-meal glass of DOM, keep it to one or two and you will survive/thrive in your miserable occupation. A great post, Ben and a valuable lesson to all.

  24. @Brian – Exactly. A recent LX F flight from ZRH to YUL involved a good 4 or 5 glasses of Laurent Perrier Grand Siecle followed by some wine then the dessert wine, vintage grappa and cognac. Heavy drinking in F is nothing new. The only difference here is that Lucky is a lightweight. I’d say he just needs some more training.

  25. Ben, don’t even deny it 😉 You HAD fun altitude cruisey boozey on this flight with your friend! com’on, we’re only young once! 😉

    i do it every flight that is not a work flight to a meeting right after i get off the plane.

  26. Lucky, you need to have one glass of water for every glass or portion of alcohol; otherwise, you get dehydrated. When you go to the LH First Class Terminal again, do try some grappa from the bar. Kirsch is also good when in LH F as an after meal drink.

  27. I don’t mean to laugh at your misfortune…but that was one funny adventure! I hope you get to suds it up in the sky soon and make a trip report about it.

  28. I think the problem is here –> “As I always say I very rarely drink.”… you need to start drinking more and then when you take a flight such as this you will be more experienced. HA!

  29. Lol.

    Thats not lightweight. Once I had two cups of red wine (one as a PDB, the other was before dinner). I immediately got drunk… So much that the plane started spinning! I asked the FA for an entire bottle of water and she understood. That was so embarrassing!

  30. Sounds like a great flight. Alcohol tolerance comes with practice – don’t be constrained by your diet Pepsi picture, have fun.

  31. If I were on a flight like that, I would have drank at least that much. Otherwise, you are missing out! Drink more next time and you might have some really good stories!

  32. I don’t think the solution is to never drink on a flight again. It’s to not drink like a 12 year old girl who’s never drank before.

  33. Few months back I did SEA – FRA (FCT) – MUC (5 hours at Oktoberfest) – SIN

    Drank from SEA all the way to Oktoberfest, puked before the fight to SIN, worst hangover + jet lag in my life. Lasted 3 days!
    Luckily I was in F from MUC – SIN!

  34. I love reading your reviews. This was so funny. Made me giggle. My whole goal is to be on this plane to experience the shower and enjoy this type of travel.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *