My parents and I are flying to New York today on American for an event we have to attend over the weekend. I’m so used to traveling alone that I forgot how
exhausting entertaining it can be to travel with family. As a bit of background, my parents are both German (with thick accents, despite having lived in the US for 30+ years). My dad used to fly for work all the time back in the day when it was actually still fun, and my mom’s primary form of travel is first class award tickets nonstop between Orlando and Frankfurt on Lufthansa.
So it’s rather rare that we travel together, and often quite entertaining. I take pride in my airport etiquette (though admittedly I totally screw up sometimes), so on the ride to the airport I gave them a few “tips.”
Despite my best efforts, it has been an utmost entertaining morning. I had told my parents all about the full body scanners, and had said that if they get selected for them they could opt out if they wanted. I told them to just say “I’ll take the massage, please.”
On the plus side, they listened. On the down side, obviously I wasn’t clear enough. As it turns out we got a lane which only had a metal detector — no full body scanner. I don’t think my dad entirely understood the distinction, because as the TSA agent directs him to walk through the metal detector, he exclaims “I’ll take the massage,” with a big grin on his face. I’m proud of you, dad… kind of!
Then we get on the plane and are taxiing to the runway when my mom says something I hear all the time, oddly enough. As the captain makes the “flight attendants, prepare for takeoff” announcement, my mom asks “what happens to the dogs if we crash? No one knows where they are.” My response was “oddly you didn’t bring that up when you were at work yesterday, which is much more dangerous.”
Like I said, the joys of traveling with family!