I feel like I’ve just made a revelation. I just went through security at Boston Logan Airport, and they have the full body scanners. I ended up in the lane which has these, and when it came time to go through the checkpoint, the agent gave me the usual “you don’t have anything in your pockets and your belt is off, right? Step right over here.”
As he said that, I said, with a smile on my face, “I’ll take the massage, please.” The TSA agent clearly didn’t like that I was getting enjoyment out of the security
theater process, and said “oh no you won’t, you’re going through the metal detector.”
Now, unless I’m mistaken, once you’re selected for the full body scanner, you can either take that or get the patdown (in other words, you can’t opt to go through the metal detector).
So is the key to avoiding both the full body scanner and the full body patdown to pretend like you actually enjoy the experience, and are feeling lonely this holiday season?