Dry humping and “rubbing” on a flight ain’t cool!

Flying never gets old, does it? Certainly not this morning from Tampa to Chicago. I was seated in 6B on a 757, the aisle seat in the last row of first class. During boarding there was a lady seated in 5A and a guy seated in 5C. As boarding progressed they started talking from across the aisle, and eventually Ms. 5A switched to 5D. Now I’m not sure if these two knew each other before the flight, but it didn’t really seem like it to me.

Everything was fine. They enjoyed their two day old omelets as they chatted away. And then eventually Mr. 5C puts his arm around Ms. 5D, and they proceed to make out. A lot. For the better part of an hour I had to watch this. And I say I had to watch this because I’m in 6B, so that’s in my direct line of sight. I felt so bad for the really old couple seated right behind them, though the husband seemed to enjoy watching it somewhat.

As I headed to the lav I rolled my eyes and shook my head at them, but they didn’t seem to care. Then the guy starts basically dry humping his seat and “rubbing” himself. OK, now we’ve had enough. Keep in mind, this all went on for well over an hour.

I didn’t want to cause too many problems, so I chose not to get involved directly. Instead I enlisted the help of one of the flight attendants, who reminded me of Wanda Sykes. I explained that I can live with them making out, but the back and forth motion and rubbing is a bit much. She laughed at first, and then went to talk to the purser. As she walked back she just saw how difficult hard the situation was. She went up to them, said “aw hell no, you guys better cut that out,” and that was that. They just “cuddled” for the rest of the flight.

While I didn’t get involved initially, I am a bit of a smartass, so as we taxied in I googled the phone number of the O’Hare Hilton. I wrote on a hotel pad “O’Hare Hilton” and then wrote down the phone number, and as we deplaned handed it to him and said “here, you might need this.” Suffice it to say he wasn’t amused. 😉

Some people…

About lucky

Ben Schlappig (aka Lucky) is a travel consultant, blogger, and avid points collector. He travels about 400,000 miles a year, primarily using miles and points to fund his first class experiences. He chronicles his adventures, along with industry news, here at One Mile At A Time.

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Comments

  1. Wow. The couple with whom I shared the exit row on a PHL-IAH flight last year spent most of the flight making out and apparently giving each other hand massages (they clearly knew each other pre-flight, at least) and that was somewhat awkward, but this takes the cake. OMG.

  2. Lucky this is a really indiscreet question, but are you straight? Most hetero guys I know would probably appreciate the show…

    And your reaction is more or less the same as mine would have been, so I wonder…

  3. Straight is not the issue – do you think a loser like this kid really knows how to talk to a female that isn’t a UA flight attendant?

    Come on – this kid knows nothing about human interaction besides the FAs and his mom.

  4. Super80 you are such a troll!

    And I’m SURREEE you are great with the ladies too, seeing as you are such a kind and positive person, ya jerk!

  5. “. . .this kid knows nothing about human interaction besides the FAs and his mom.”

    And you say this because you’ve interacted with him outside of this forum?

    Yeah, that’s what I thought.

    Well I have interacted with him outside of this forum, and have found him to be interesting, altruistic and engaging.

  6. LOL, gee Lucky, you do have exciting adventures on your flights! I do love reading your blog 🙂

  7. @Matthew — Isn’t amazing that someone SO important has time to post about a “loser like this kid”?

    We all know who the real loser is here.

  8. Photos, man… Where are the photos? You take pics of every omelet and diet coke that’s put in front of you, but you never take pics (or at least post them) when there is something interesting to see… 🙂

  9. Dear One Mile At A Time Forum,

    I’ve read the posts here for a long time, and I never thought they were true. But just the other day, on a flight from Tampa to O’Hare….

  10. I second Oliver, a sane person would have recorded it and posted it on youtube already, whats wrong with you lucky???????? 😉

  11. I’m with AJ in wondering if Lucky is gay. I’d be hoping to see the girl writhing around and squealing a bit, wanting it to heat up for a better view. As long as liquids aren’t shooting in your direction, who cares if the dude was getting some action in the process?

  12. Dang, I was just about to post about how I met this cute girl on TPA-ORD and we started getting into it and then the purser had to intervene and this blond kid gave me a great tip for the O’Hare Hilton…

    😛

  13. @super Despite your assumption, I can certainly vouch for the fact that Lucky does know how to talk to ladies who are not FAs. He is quite charming, intelligent, well-travelled, as well as being a kind and generous person.

    It is easy to understand why you don’t recognize this, as you have demonstrated repeatedly here that you do not possess any of those fine attributes.

  14. In case you all were wondering why Lucky wasn’t interested:

    The people getting it on were in their 50s. They also weren’t attractive.

    Lucky is not close to that age range. 🙂

    Consider seeing your mom or dad get it on with a stranger in a public (and confined) place…

    Gross, right?

    🙂

  15. @Angus: Are the terms etiquette, decency, respect, or propriety in your dictionary?

    Has society disintegrated to such a point that anything goes as long “liquids aren’t shooting in your direction?”

  16. although i wont be surprised if lucky is gay, (who cares if hes in the closet/out whatever)…the big question is, y on earth did he not take a pic/video? considering u have pictures ranging from diet cokes to audio of picketing protesters @ the Andaz

    @Super80: wats up with the hateful comments?

  17. I am defecting, man… TPA is not that far from MCO. It can serve as a legitimate “nearby airport” next time I book a UA flight.

  18. Breaking news, important update:

    Turns out it was dude on dude… and yes, Super80 was there. Need I say more.

    Thank goodness United recently installed the new “easy wipe down” F seats.

  19. I was on a BWI-FLL flight once and the people in the row across from me were also having way too much fun. Suffice it to say I could not see one of his hands and the other was holding her mouth shut.

    While normally it may be a turn on to see, this couple was a very dirty disgusting looking pair and it was nauseating the way they were going at it.

  20. ROFLMAO. You guys crack me up. You caught me, I’m obviously gay. I mean, any straight person would appreciate two (not very attractive) people the same age as their parents trying to get it on, right?

    And of course all straight people have absolutely no class when it comes to PDA, right?

    I love you guys (save for one of you, though he does make me smile every day), I really do. 😀

  21. Okay, pardon my dull comprehension but what exactly does this mean??

    ‘Then the guy starts basically dry humping his seat’

    Who needs wifi or AVOD in flight!

  22. + to Pat’s post. I have also met Lucky and Super80 is completely off the mark and clearly quite jealous of Lucky :D.

    Ewww to the shenigans on your flight, Lucky. Maybe UA need to borrow some “No Sex Please” signs from the SQ A380s. Seriously, why cant they get a room!!

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