Is this for real?

First of all, credit for this goes to the thread on FlyerTalk on the subject, and while I usually wouldn’t just rehash stuff from over there, this is too funny to let go.

Check out this page on united.com:

Incomparable new Red Carpet Club opens at Chicago O’Hare this spring.
Visit our newest and best-yet Red Carpet Club, located near Chicago O’Hare Gate B18. The spacious, contemporary new lounge features double the seating and almost triple the space of our previous location. You’ll find it easier than ever to take care of business with ample power outlets, Wi-Fi Internet access and convenient work locations. Or, simply relax and unwind with enhanced food and beverage offerings like cappuccino made from café-style machines or complimentary self-serve soda. To become a Red Carpet Club member, visit united.com/RCC today.

Hahahahahahahaha…. hahahahahahahaha… hahahahahahaha….. hahahahahahaha…. whew, I think I regained control. Now I think everyone got a good enough laugh out of what United wrote, but just in case allow me add my two cents worth of analysis. Let’s take this apart a bit:

Incomparable new Red Carpet Club opens at Chicago O’Hare this spring.

Hmm, really makes you wonder what it’s incomparable to. Certainly they are correct that it doesn’t compare to any real lounge in the world which offers free wifi, showers, booze, and real food, but even relatively speaking, does it compare to some of United’s better lounges? For example, can it compare to the RCC in HKG which has free drinks, lots of food, and even hot dishes? I think not, unless UA really plans on making this a revolutionary RCC, which we all know isn’t the case.

Visit our newest and best-yet Red Carpet Club

Again, do you expect us to believe this? Does it beat the one in Hong Kong?

The spacious, contemporary new lounge features double the seating and almost triple the space of our previous location

OK, great. By my calculations that still makes it half the size of the two major RCC’s at ORD. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy they’re making it bigger and better, but the lounge before this was a complete joke and didn’t even have bathrooms. It was called the Ted Carpet Club for a reason.

You’ll find it easier than ever to take care of business with ample power outlets

Oh, awesome! Now we’re really talking a world class lounge… not!

Wi-Fi Internet access

Which we will continued to be charged for, I assume…

convenient work locations

Hmm, I have a lot of complaints about RCC’s, but that’s not one of them. I’ve always found RCC’s to have more than enough desks.

Or, simply relax and unwind with enhanced food and beverage offerings

Oh, enhanced food options? Are you adding cucumbers to the veggie mix?

self-serve soda

Hah! Again, wow, now we’re really talking a world class club. In all honesty though this is something I’m happy about since I hate tipping the bartender $1 to pour me a soda, so it’s a welcomed enhancement, but to call that “enhanced beverage offerings?” Not so much…

Not meaning to rip on United here, but come on, this is an insult to anyone that reads it.

Comments

  1. This is the small RCC that does not even have its own bathroom. For all the jive, I hope it at least gets its own bathroom as I really hate to use the public bathrooms with the toilet without a seat–just those moveable plastic covers–ick!

  2. Pssst, United…there are many better clubs than the Red Carpet Club, many that we can use under the Star Alliance umbrella. Just need to be sure you have the right boarding pass in hand or on your smartphone when you wish to access.

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